It all started in the B&Q lighting department as I selected a new desk lamp:
Assist: You want a small Edison screw with that?
Me: I dunno! Do I?
Assist: Yes. You will need an SES E14
Me: I dunno! Do I?
Assist: Yes. You will need an SES E14
Me: Oh?
Assist.: It lasts 10 years.
Me: That long?
Assist: Well if you prefer we can do you a box of 3 x 2 years for the same price?
Me: Ok!
Assist.: It lasts 10 years.
Me: That long?
Assist: Well if you prefer we can do you a box of 3 x 2 years for the same price?
Me: Ok!
I had no idea what that was all about?
Ever since we as a country have been sucked into that money pit monolith called the European Union we have suddenly found that a lot of the things that we used to take for granted are no longer available to us, or now take on a different form.
For instance, let's talk about light bulbs! At one time you went into a shop and you bought pearl or clear; either 40, 60 or 100 watts. All the same fitting. Simples. They were incandescent.
Now I am incandescent…….
….. because then they introduced eco friendly energy saving bulbs. Now I'm all for saving the planet - I was first in line to cuddle a tree with Prince Charles - but why do I have to spend good money on something that takes ages to warm up, gives off a horrible smell and then actually makes the room darker, for goodness sake? They are rather grotesquely shaped like a squashed small intestine, don't fit the shade and then you discover that these wretched things, which are supposed to last 10 years, actually blow up after three days AND have mercury in them which means that you'll be picking bits of glass and silver blobs out of your hair for weeks and then end up with some kind of blood poisoning.
However, all is not lost. Nowadays we do have options. Since the original EU ruling, some 'bright sparks' have invented a plethora of different bulbs. On the market these days, there are some rather poetically named and funny shaped bulbs - light-emitting diode, halogen, tungsten, fluorescent, compact fluorescent, high intensity discharge (don't go there!), low pressure sodium (much better for you), large bayonet, small bayonet (for little soldiers?), large clip, small clip, large screw, small screw….. We're all screwed!
Ever since we as a country have been sucked into that money pit monolith called the European Union we have suddenly found that a lot of the things that we used to take for granted are no longer available to us, or now take on a different form.
For instance, let's talk about light bulbs! At one time you went into a shop and you bought pearl or clear; either 40, 60 or 100 watts. All the same fitting. Simples. They were incandescent.
Now I am incandescent…….
….. because then they introduced eco friendly energy saving bulbs. Now I'm all for saving the planet - I was first in line to cuddle a tree with Prince Charles - but why do I have to spend good money on something that takes ages to warm up, gives off a horrible smell and then actually makes the room darker, for goodness sake? They are rather grotesquely shaped like a squashed small intestine, don't fit the shade and then you discover that these wretched things, which are supposed to last 10 years, actually blow up after three days AND have mercury in them which means that you'll be picking bits of glass and silver blobs out of your hair for weeks and then end up with some kind of blood poisoning.
However, all is not lost. Nowadays we do have options. Since the original EU ruling, some 'bright sparks' have invented a plethora of different bulbs. On the market these days, there are some rather poetically named and funny shaped bulbs - light-emitting diode, halogen, tungsten, fluorescent, compact fluorescent, high intensity discharge (don't go there!), low pressure sodium (much better for you), large bayonet, small bayonet (for little soldiers?), large clip, small clip, large screw, small screw….. We're all screwed!
I haven't even tried to interpret the wattage options! Like 7 is the equivalent of 40 and 10 = 60. I will need Austin to devise one of his algorithms.
But it doesn't stop there. We have to also choose between traditional, spiral, candle, downlight, spotlight, globe, stick, golf. Golf??? How did that get there? Edison must be flickering in his grave!
I just want a bulb that I can stick in and turn on. Is that too much to ask?
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On to less contentious things!
❤Austin here (the voice of sanity). Just wanted to share this picture of my sweet Sassy cuddling the nip heart and snuggling the padded mat I sent her. If you remember, she is solely responsible for my newly developed silvervine addiction! I wanted to thank her! You can read about her excitement at receivingthe news of my undying love and devotion gift here. ❤
But it doesn't stop there. We have to also choose between traditional, spiral, candle, downlight, spotlight, globe, stick, golf. Golf??? How did that get there? Edison must be flickering in his grave!
I just want a bulb that I can stick in and turn on. Is that too much to ask?
⟺
On to less contentious things!
❤Austin here (the voice of sanity). Just wanted to share this picture of my sweet Sassy cuddling the nip heart and snuggling the padded mat I sent her. If you remember, she is solely responsible for my newly developed silvervine addiction! I wanted to thank her! You can read about her excitement at receiving
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wattage - inquiry as to how old one is?
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Oh don't talk about light bulbs. Rodd Gilbert said it all LOL You cannot get a normal box standard light bulb in the UK let alone a colored one ( remember, rose and peach , soft glow )Now we have ones that blind you but they last 10 years..LOL I'll stop now..Night xxx00xx
ReplyDeleteMollie and Alfie
"actually makes the room darker"
ReplyDeleteI lost my wits at that HAHAHA!
That was the best abdominal workout ever. The family weren't quite seeing the high level of wit when I read some of it out, but I lost it again, so I guess that's the main thing ;)
Brilliant. Rant more. Do some controversial stuff, people will like you more I promise... (they really won't)
Dee x
Good lord. No wonder my ancestors migrated...you guys are BATS over there.
ReplyDelete*or possibly transported...
ReplyDeleteWe could not have said it better...hate those new bulbs and like you we want a bulb we can put in and turn on and get great results. Sweet Austin, sweet Sassy looks so sweet cuddling her nip heart and mat you sent her. Hugs and nose kisses
ReplyDeleteWow maybe we should export light bulbs to the UK?
ReplyDeleteWE have to agree, it would be nice just to have the normal light bulb. But we have the new ones and they do last a lot longer. So, as to wattage. Does that mean we have to address the age of our Person?? We sure hope not.
ReplyDeleteTake care.
I laughed about as much as David surely did. I loved every word and do rant. More. Aside from the laughter I have to say I agree fully with every word. Same thing here. Edison flickering in his grave sent me over the edge into guffaws!!
ReplyDeleteAustin darling (Sassy, pay me no mind) do make your mom the algorithm she needs...oh, do.
Loved every word of your rant and agree 100%. I also don't care for the light the new one emit either - I have trouble reading by them. Now it's almost to the point where you can't find a regular bulb anymore.
ReplyDeleteBOL!! Too funny! We are glad we aren't in the EU...
ReplyDeleteLicks,
Ruthie
Pee.s. Good luck with all those lightbulbs!
I am SO glad that as a kitty, I don't have to worry about these things!
ReplyDeleteThose new bulbs scare TW cos they're toxic and Pop keeps dropping them on the floor causing a panic. "Don't let the cat in there! She'll die of cancer! blah blah blah" If she could afford the LED bulbs, she'd buy those but luckily the real bulbs are still available in the dollar stores.
ReplyDeleteHa! Fully agree with that. We can ship you some :-)
ReplyDeleteOh Austin...aren't you glad us cats needn't concern ourselves with such nuisances? Wattage, schmattage.
ReplyDelete; ) Katie
The mom says one day that's gonna happen here...we'll be forced to buy those silly looking bulbs. So she's hoarding all the regular kind now. You should see our closet.
ReplyDeleteLOL... thanks for the good laugh, sorry it has to be at your expense though. I think we still have normal light bulbs available here. I've bought some of the eco friendly ones, or at least tried and find it all confusing. I didn't know if I was getting the right thing? I was so lost. Half the time I just end up buying what I know!
ReplyDeleteI recall voicing a similar rant some time ago to my friends on other social media, as our incandescents are rapidly disappearing in droves with all those perfectly good ones being changed out and sent to landfills just to replace and be politically/environmentally correct - not a fair trade in my opinion! And I agree, and was rolling, with thinking of Edison flickering in his grave, hehehe :)
ReplyDeleteOy, yoy, yoy! Figuring that all out would be way too complex for us...we would need Austin's algorithms for sure!
ReplyDeleteBOL you sound a lot like typists other half who went on a half hour rant in another DIY store at the weekend as he couldn't find the light bulbs - he had gone to the lighting department assuming they would be there but they weren't!! Massive rant BOL
ReplyDeleteLOL funny and we are so there with you. We went and bought as many spares of the NORMAL old ones as possible. We hate the EU money pit. Give us bendy cucumbers back we say. Have a terrific Thursday.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes Molly
We found that confusing just reading about it! MOL.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you need to share your silvervine with you Mom, Austin. ;)
Oh Austin your staff's rant is absolutely one I've heard echoing 'round the halls here too. Whatever happened to the good old LIGHTBULB? Well, if you get all of that figured out - please enlighten (hahahaha) the rest of us OK?? So Sassy's got you hooked huh? Well, we guys can't resist the pretty ladies when they sidle up and give us the "C'mon big boy...whatcha waitin' for?" goo goo eye thing!
ReplyDeleteKitty Hugs, Sammy
My mom-person agree´s that we all are screwed *mol*
ReplyDeleteThat sure is a djungle to get something that looks like and works like a lightbulb used to do !
XOXO
Brillian and very very funny! I will forever watch for more rants from you!
ReplyDeleteMy Sweet Boy Austin,
ReplyDeleteI am so enjoying the heart and mat you sent me! Want to get together for a Silvervine party?
Your Sassy
Mum stock piled a few bulbs when we heard they were being changed to those new dim things but they won't last forever. We only use table lamps where we sit in the evening and how are we expected to see if we don't sit and read the newspaper with our heads stuck under the lampshade? Someone very clever must have thought of this idea. Perhaps we ought to see if we can buy any old miners' lamps!
ReplyDeleteLuv Hannah and Lucy xx xx
dood...whatz bee a lite bulb...we still be werkin by candle lite over heer !!...well.sum times de care o seen lanturn two
ReplyDelete:)
Just give me a good old fashion light bulb and I am happy.
ReplyDeleteMommy laughed so hard, he coffee came out her nose! Me LOVES it when that happens! Wes lucky, if wes goes to the US, we can still gets the regular - old fashioned kind of light bulbs! Not that we do, we has those "other" lights in the house, except in the bedroom for the reading lamps there. Mommy gots tired of how those squashed intestine lights would eat the little wire thingies.
ReplyDeleteAnd Austin, yous can always comes and visits me if yous gets tired of Sassy...
Kisses
Nellie
This post was brilliant and it is exactly how I feel about Christmas bulbs. Is there a convention where bulb makers meet to ensure that NOT ONE SINGLE bulb can be interchanged to be used in any strand of lights. And why do I have a large coffee tin filled with old Christmas bulbs, blindly thinking year after year that just maybe this year they will work...
ReplyDeleteWe're with you on the light bulbs! They're not eco-friendly and what's the point of a bulb that takes ages to give any light? It's a bit of a backward step when we were used to flicking a switch and getting instant light.
ReplyDeleteHa, glad to see we're not the only disgruntled ones. They're expensive and cast a weird unhealthy glow.
ReplyDeleteMum agrees with every word! She bought lots of the old style ones and reckons she has enough for the next 10 years. She couldn't get candle bulbs though before they stopped them but saw them advertised in one of those pamphlets they have in the Sunday papers. Being a mug, she ordered 40 thinking that would see her through several years. They explode when they get hot!!! Three exploded in as many months.
ReplyDeleteGrrrrr, hate the new bulbs. You are right on the money - I could care less that they last longer, it just means I have to hear that hum and deal with "turning on the dark" when I walk in the room for that much longer....
ReplyDeleteNo wonder I stocked up on incandescents before they went byebye! LOL
Mom agrees that all this lightbulb stuff is crap. Pardon the bad word. Our humans started stockin' up on all types of regular bulbs when the government said they would soon no longer be available. Now, my humans are big planet savers and will do pretty much anything they can to reduce their carbon footprint, but those curly-cue bulbs look downright ugly in most of our fixtures, which are either stained glass or the original 100-year-old ones. Sometimes it just feel good to rant. Thanks for providing us the opportunity as well. Purrs and hugs from the kitties at The Cat on My Head, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Josette
ReplyDeleteOur Mommy agrees with your Mommy about the light bulbs!!!...Beautiful Sassy is just darling with her sweet gifts from you, Austin=we can tell how special they are to her!...Happy weekend, sweet friend...kisses...Calle, Halle, Sukki, Mommy Cat, Daddy Cat
ReplyDeleteI can relate to the frustration of energy saving bulbs. We had some in the house and in the morning the room actually looked really dark, weirdly the bulbs did smell somewhat and took forever to really light up. One of them also turned a weird, unexplainable shade of pink. While the bulbs did last, I can't say I'm really much for them.
ReplyDeleteAll in the name of progress. Love Austin's word of the day.
ReplyDeleteOur silly Mom is all about getting better light bulbs but to hear her complain about the price and yes! how much darker they are, well, we can't type those words and you shouldn't hear them anyway. Silvervine, huh? Next time our Mom's thinking of throwing green papers at bulbs, we'll insist silvervine instead! Purrs...
ReplyDeleteAhhhhh, yes... the days of the simple life are way behind us... now one must have one of those special "2 year associate's degree", just to manage the day to day crap!
ReplyDelete:)
we leave all these troubles to humans; as kitties all we do are fun stuff - eat, sleep, watch bird tv, wrassle, etc etc
ReplyDeleteEmma and Buster
Yes, and don't ever break one of those things, they are extremely toxic, extremely. Track down the disposal instructions and you will rant some more!
ReplyDeleteCute Post!!! Oh how we long for the simple things we know and love so much!!! A 60 watt bulb!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteEverything is changing to fast for an old lady like me!! LOL
Loved your visit!!!
The Human has simply given up all hope of making simple purchases. She wants a plain, battery-powered alarm clock to replace the one that gave up the ghost a month ago. OH NO!!!! They no longer seem to exist. They are radios and mp3 players and phones and probably Geiger counters too. No such thing as a freaking ALARM CLOCK!!!
ReplyDeleteEnd rant. Ahhhhhhh, that's better!
Sir Loin of Rumpover? I laughed till I hurt at 0700 in the morning!
ReplyDeleteThat "grotesquely shaped like a squashed small intestine" is what we have here at home. Mom kept laughing while reading the staff's rant. Love your defenition of wattage. Haha!
ReplyDeleteHoly CAT! And we wondered why our mum didn't want to go "bulb shopping with dad!" MOL! Uhm, mommy sez she's not going to answer wattage! MOL!
ReplyDeleteLightbulbs and B&Q do not go together LOL
ReplyDeleteWattage- love that word definition.
ReplyDeleteBulbs?!? I just recently learned there are low-wattage LEDs being sold here. After 6 months of trying to figure out what they are, the only thing I've learned is there's warm white and normal white...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it plain stupid to call white "warm white" when it's in fact orange?!? Why don't they just call it orange, for goodness sake. -.-
Mummy is so confused about lightbulbs nowadays we're close to living with candlelight bOL
ReplyDelete