Sunday 25 September 2011

Austin's Law of Motion!

Did he move? Don't blink!

This is Austins favourite sleeping place. On my legs, with my knee under his "armpit". I wish to point out the rather fetching inch of flesh showing where the jogs end and the white (I use the word advisedly) "sport" sock begins. There is also a tantalising glimpse of a racy red slipper! No wonder he has his eyes closed!

As you may know if you've followed this blog for a while, Austin is a keen scientist. He has advised such diverse and learnéd people as Fibonacci and Schrodinger. Now he concentrates his genius brain on one Sir Isaac Newton, who as you may know, devised a cradle and several laws to do with moving around. There was also an incident with an apple which had an outcome of some gravity!

The particular law Austin has been able to prove (see picture above) is the little known 4th law of inertia, which Newton would have got round to, had he been bothered. This law states that the resistance of any physical object to a change in its state of motion or rest, or the tendency of an object to resist any change in its motion is directly proportional to the need of the object's human (technical term) to go to the bathroom.

Happy Sunday Everybody!

Sunday 18 September 2011

Meow me hearties! - or where's Johnny Depp when you need him?

The management of this blog wishes to thank Captain Puddy for this portrait of Austin in his Johnny Depp outfit :)  The amateurish embellishments are courtesy of me (and picassa)!!! 

It's the International "Meow like a pirate day" today (Monday 19th)
So a (very bad) pome has been writ in celebration.

Here goes ....... Ahem!

If Long John Silver were a cat,
He'd lose the parrot and the hat.
All he wants is fresh caught tuna,
Morning, eve and afternooner.

If he had a wooden leg
He'd stand up proud, he would not beg.
Though hungry, he would spurn a carrot;
"I've got" he said "to find that parrot".

The parrot came, there was a fight
The outcome? Not a pretty sight.
Long John Cat, his fur all scruffed,
The parrot laughed, as he weren't stuffed!

There is a moral to this story
But tell the truth, tis rather gory.
Suffice to say that Long John Cat
Is no longer, ... and that's that!

Thursday 15 September 2011

Breakfast in Bed

Two mornings in a row now, Austin has deposited one of these on the courtyard outside my bedroom window.

Needless to say, this was not the condition in which they arrived :(  He was so pleased with himself. He jumped up to the window ledge and woke me up with one of his yowly meows to announce what he'd done. 

"Look, I brought you breakfast!"  Errr? Thanks!

Now to spare those who are of a more delicate disposition and also out of respect for the deceased, I have not photographed the remains. For this I expect you are grateful.

As a result and also because it's about that time again (but mostly out of sheer spite), Austin received a dose of this on the back of his neck ....... ... 

...... while he was taking his postprandial nap.  

He was not happy.

He morphed into the Incredible Sulk

and it was the last we saw of him for the rest of the day!!

P.S. I believe he was making the point, after I caught him red pawed the other day, that he would jolly well go over the road to the field whether I liked it or not!

Monday 12 September 2011

The Dangling Participant

It's been while since I've actually had a good waffle on here. It's partly because I have a blockage in the creativity brain cell and partly because I've discovered photo editing. I also have a lovely new camera.

I will not detain you too long, but a line of thought has been wending its weary way through my sullied intellect and I would very much like to share it with my ailurophile buddies.

My experience with cats has only ever been on first come first served basis. In other words only one cat at a time has graced my abode (one can't really count Tigger!) So I've never been able to study multicat interaction at close quarters. It also means that the one cat I've had living with me has been the sole recipient of my attention, love and devotion .... and, to be honest, sometimes also wrath e.g. after an altercation regarding the ethics of shredded furniture in the living room.

However, throughout these long years of close proximity to Austin there is no doubt in my mind that he is starting to learn the basics of English grammar and syntax. No, he is, really!

When he first arrived he was understandably reticent and a tad reluctant to throw himself wholeheartedly into life chez moi. After all I was a middle-aged lady of punctilious disposition and he was a mog from the mean streets of downtown Colwyn Bay. It was not, at first glance, a perfect union.

As time passed by and we got used to each other, a change started to take place in more than one of us!

He became more vocal and, in actual fact, so did I. We would chat about our day, or at least I would and he would chip in now and again with comments and opinions. Eventually Austin would initiate a conversation and I would interject with thoughts of my own. As time has gone on, we have settled into a routine of chat and backchat. So what have I observed?

It might be my imagination but I've noticed he's starting to differentiate between the parts of speech. I think it is illustrated very well by an exchange that took place the other evening.

Picture the scene. It was a dark and stormy night and Austin was out on the town ... well in the garden actually ... and I wanted him to come in. For those who are unfamiliar with the lexical categories, we (Austin and I, for it's a combined study) have referenced the following tome:

"In the Mood: Aspects of a Tense Voice in Feline Linguistics" by Magnum O'Puss (a little known Irish catademic). The parts of speech that we identified have been highlighted in red:

Me:       "Austin?" = the interrogative

Austin:  "Meow?" = the responsive interrogative

Me:       "Come now!" = the imperative

Austin:   "Meow!" = the counter imperative

Me:        "This minute!" = the escalating imperative

Austin:  (walking slowly away):  "Meow!" = the dismissive interlocutive

Me (arms akimbo, following him in the dark):   "Pleeeeaase!" = the diminishing interlocutive

Austin (heading for the hebe bush):  "Meow!!" = the declining interactive

Me (right behind him):  "You ___ cat" = the mumbled derogative

Austin:   "ƾ" = the verbless claws

Me:        "$**!T" = the moronic overreactive and the expletive deleted

Austin:    »^ᴗӧ^«

Saturday 10 September 2011

We've been "Mentioned"!!!!

Not being one to blow my own trumpet .... no I am not!! I just wanted to say that CATachresis has been featured on Zee & Zoey's Chronicle Connection blog. 

Deb Barnes is a writer of some not inconsiderable talent, as well as being v stylish. She was a nominee in this year's Pettie awards for "Best Designed Blog". Though she didn't win, she should have IMO. I mean the leopard skin motif is proof in itself! Her elegant writing together with the wonderful photos of her beautiful cats are so uplifting.  Check her out..  

By the way, she would probably want you to know that the photographer of her menage is her partner Dan :) The photos are truly stunning.

Anyway, my hoop has never been so cocked and to be one of the four chosen has made my day. .... no, year!  Thanks Deb xox

Austin also wishes to express his appreciation!
Oh well. Running true to form, then!

Monday 5 September 2011

At a stretch!

This is a non-alliterated floofy Monday.  Austin, as you can see, is still on his weekend!

We understand it's Labor Day in America! Now without recourse to google, we can't be sure what that actually is?  But we can speculate. Is it a day when everyone has to go to work? In the UK we call it Labour anyway which is a political party that used to run the country, but doesn't anymore (allegedly).  So perhaps it is something political? But then why would anyone want to celebrate politics?  

OK, I've just consulted Wiki. It appears to be the day when everyone remembers the economic and social contributions of workers. It figures that we do not have such a day in Britain!!  What we do have here is a day to celebrate the economic and social detriment of out-of-workers when they go and sign on at JobCentrePlus every second Thursday! It's a blast (errr so I'm told!). 

Incidentally, it also appears to be the last day in the year when it is fashionable for women to wear white.

So Happy (non) Labo(u)r Day everyone!  NB please redistribute parentheses as you will :)

Thursday 1 September 2011

I was just admiring the view ......

...... from the window. It was a beautiful day ☼

Lovely isn't it!

Look a bit closer .....

Ah huh!

Oy! Austin!

Come here a minute!

Hurry up!

Will you please be careful crossing the road!

Hehehehe! At least the poor field mouse/vole/shrew had some respite!