"I'm guessing you don't realise how silly you look crouching down there on the carpet!! So don't come crying to me when you dislocate your hip and put your back out! And anyway why are you using your phone to take a picture? Phones are for talking to cold callers from somewhere unpronounceable (no I don't want to buy a timeshare in Ulan Bator?) and automated helplines - press 1 if you want kalashnikov sales; press 2 if you want to self destruct ... !
You could at least try and find the proper camera - the one with 956 different settings, but you only ever use "auto". The one with that button on the side.
You know, THAT button!
The one you don't know what it's for, but are afraid if you press it, you might start a war in the Middle East or something!
Yes THAT camera!
The camera that you accidentally deleted 18,329 images of me doing really interesting things like yogic napping and underwater origami. Now the world will never know what they missed."
The world breathes a collective sigh of relief.
origami - a herb popular in Japan