You know I really love my cat, don't get me wrong, but if there is the cat equivalent of the hissy fit, then Austin does it. It's probably called a kissy fit. I've not had a huge experience with cats. I've only personally known about half a dozen in my entire life. But Austin is the only cat I've had who manages to do arms akimbo whilst stamping his paw and giving a verbal bashing all at the same time!
It's my own fault. I just give in to him. All he has to do is turn those big beautiful (alien) eyes on me and blink and I am like a ravaged dead mouse in his paws. The distressing scenes of spoilt cat throwing a tantrum usually takes place of an evening when I'm doing a bit of social networking. So I'm guessing he is jealous of my virtual life and wants to scupper my attempts at online badinage. I have written about this before - well let's face it I've written about most things before - but I'm hoping most of my readers are like me - forgetful!
Austin goes out of an evening to take the air (and anything else that takes his fancy) and when he is let in upstairs at about 9.30, he will know that I am sat sitting downstairs tapping the keys on the Mac and minding my own business. He will also know that I am needing reminding that it is time for the evening performance. This is what occurs (includes timescale):
a) Hark! I hear the gentle pitter patter of a herd of buffalo stampeding down the stairs as he rushes and hurls himself through my door (whether closed or not) going "me-NOW" "me-NOW" "me-NOW" all the way from top to bottom - 9 seconds
b) I trudge behind determined tuxie back upstairs while deftly avoiding ritual thwack of paw through bannisters by sliding along slowly and hugging the wall (don't make eye contact) - 1 min 34 seconds
c) I give all-over-top-to-tail B-R-U-S-H - 4 mins
d) There is some communal laser mayhem (which includes chair mutilation and curtain abseiling) - 3 mins
e) Austin administers some therapeutic claw shiatsu on a couple of thighs that already resemble the shower scene from Psycho - anything from 2 mins to 5 mins depending on the thigh owners pain threshold on the day
f) Human to cat neck scritch - 1 min 52 seconds
g) Cat on human drool puddle - total the time from c) to h) inclusive
h) Catnap on lap - for as long as thigh owner can stand it - infinity.
To cap it all I now have to tell Austin he is in receipt of two more awards!!! Can life get any more
fraught fun? I dread to think what he's going to say!
Look Austin, there's not a scintilla of a chance that a cuddle is coming your way, ok?
So, we have received from Teri at Curlz and Swurlz the Lief award. No that's not Leaf, meaning the green thing you get off a tree, but Lief as in Dutch for sweet :)) Yes Austin that means you, babe!
We have also received from Haopee (who else! :) the Versatile Blogger award for being … well …versatile! And apparently she's taken pity on me because I'm a statsaholic!
Thank you very much to both!
Now there are certain conditions attached to these awards, but do you know? I can't remember them? I did the seven things a while back now! I've done three things too, I think .. and ten things! Good heavens! There's nothing left to say! Anyway Austin's life is a closed book and mine is so uninteresting even I yawn when I hear what I am saying! However there are many blogs I like and I'm just going to give a shout out to some:
The Lief Award goes to:
The award winners should pass on to three other sweet blogs :)
The Versatile Blogger Award goes to:
The award winners should say seven things about themselves and pass on to anything up to fifteen blogs. Yeah right!
If you have already received the award or are an award free blog, no worries :)
As for our hero, he's rather overcome!
Oooops! Got to rush, it's that time again …...