The Totally Confused Award goes to ...

that thicko human at CATachresis!!! YAY!!!!!!

Now here’s the thing. Every now and then folks pass on awards to other folks and there could be conditions attached or sometimes not! And because there are links and pictures and questions and sometimes they are specific questions and sometimes they are requiring facts or secrets or nothing at all, I get very frightened of doing it all wrong and upsetting the applecart. I don’t want to be the one who causes gridlock in the collective karmic process!

However, it so happens that we have received a few awards recently from some very fine folks, but because I didn’t act immediately, I’ve got a bit backed up. And with the backing up I have confused myself and Austin with the conditions and requirements. It’s a bit like chinese whispers. It could start off with the simple request of citing three interesting hitherto unknown facts about oneself or one’s cat (the cat in question refusing to participate in such plebeian activities as blogging) or it could be ten things or a hundred and ten by the time you’ve added them all together, divided by the number of awards and, for good measure, multiplied by the number of times the cat has spat out a pill!

And …. breathe!!

So I am willing to make a deal so that I can retire injured but still with some of my pride in tact. I will display the awards and name names, if you forget I ever did this blog post. OK? Have to say, though, we are chuffed to bits that we’ve been picked on :)

The Sunshine Award was kindly given to us by Gronk and Izzie and also Repositório da Marilia and K9 Katastrophie who also gave us the Very Inspiring Blogger Award

From Mollie and Alfie we received the: 

 and the:

So here are some questions I’ve managed to salvage from the various blogs above (which I hope you will go and visit as they are brill and triff :) Answers are done by me on behalf of Austin who is in serious training for the Cat Olympics marathon napping relay event! NB please note I have spelt “favourite” correctly ;)
Favourite colour: Austin sees everything in black and white!

Favourite number: Pi

Favourite non-alcoholic drink: Eau de puddle

Facebook or Twitter: Twitbook

My passion: Passion takes too much energy

Favourite pattern: The pattern of my day, which never changes - eat, sleep, kill

Favourite flower: Chrysanthemum - try saying that with a lisp and a mouth full of kibble!

Favourite day of the week: What’s a day? One doesn’t do days!

I believe the rules state that one has to pass this on to x number of other deserving bloggers who bring love and light into one's life. But really really can’t choose, everyone is deserving, so anyone who has managed to read this far and wants one, please take …… oh please?

♩♬ He is the Champion! ♪ ♫

It’s official!

Since he triumphed (with just a little help from Tigger) over the marauding horde of The Black Cat, Austin has now been proclaimed the overall winner, new titleholder and supreme champion in the "Feline Fracas and Fisticuff" world championships!

We are so proud :)

Our heartfelt thanks go to Glogirly for for putting him forward for this accolade and for designing the magnificent and coveted winner’s belt xx. 

Not only that:…..

The young athlete has attracted attention from some of the ladies! Sassy over at Troublin Times is quite overcome ;-)

Austin says he would also like to thank his team for all the support I have been over the many long difficult years of training and general hard slog in order to reach the peak of his physical condition ……….. Ahem! He would like to ……… but he can’t. Apparently there was some issue with catnip substance abuse allegations at local level and his name became linked with illegal nip dealing! It got quite tense for a time and he had to keep his head down. He was always waiting for the inevitable knock on the catflap from the nip squad. And he blames me of course! 

Anyway, that is all behind you now, Austin. You’ve paid your bribe debt. Onwards and upwards!!

The Battle of the Black Cat

We’ve been visited by a long haired black cat for quite a few weeks now. I think he is a stray and I know he’s been sleeping in the summerhouse because I’ve seen him there. What’s more the towelling covers on the chairs are bestrewn with dirty long black furs and some drops of blood!  Tigger is more than a bit put out by this as he likes to sleep up there during the day and, as the saying goes, "this town ain’t big enough for the both of us”. Also I’d put some kibble up there just in case Black (or anyone else) was peckish.

I’ve not seen Austin in the vicinity of Black -- not until this evening that is!

There was caterwauling of spine chilling intensity coming from the back garden. Not unusual, but this one sounded like the fat lady was finally singing! Rushed to window. There was Tigger with his back to me and Black creeping away from him up the grass. Suddenly Austin leapt out of the bushes screaming like a banshee. Fur and claws everywhere! Black on top, then Austin on top, then Black on top, then Black on top, then …….. Tigger, realising his buddy was under some stress went to help. He approached from behind. Black skewed round, biffed Tigger on the nose, Austin recovered and attacked from the rear. They moved together in a co-ordinated pincer movement worthy of Monty at El Alamein. Black, realising he was strategically outmanoeuvred, beat a hasty and rather undignified retreat. The boys were triumphant!

State of play now. Tigger is having a debriefing in Austin’s food bowl and Austin is over the way terrorising some very small wild animals. Life goes on!

Of course I was nowhere near a camera, so sadly there are no pictures of the Battle of the Black Cat.

The Wall Inspector

Just need to check the new wall meets statutory EU regulations...

Yes, everything is fine. The bricks are the specified size and shape and the top tiles allow for optimum tail hang.

The Metaphysical Mancat

 I am pensive

and preoccupied

 so please leave me alone

to ponder the meaning of life …..

…. and stuff!

Austin’s existential angst is the direct result of the application of the bi-monthly deflea gunk. This regular anointing has confirmed his belief in the concept of "eternal recurrence" within the broader purview of logical empiricism. To Austin gunking brings out his logical skepticism.

"What is it for?”

He can’t make the connection between wet sticky stuff on the neck and his flealess fur. An Überkatze he is not, though at one time I seriously considered changing his name to Zarathustra, which I think is an ace name for a cat!

Well enough of the Nietzschean nihilism. Austin doesn’t know what’s good for him. Sometimes we humans understand a little bit more about the interconnectedness between two seeming random events. Jung had something to say about that didn’t he? Synchronicity - temporally coincident occurrences of acausal events within a larger framework! Well in the larger framework of Austin’s furs, we want an absence of fleas! Talking of larger frameworks:-

Did you see the wall? 

It’s up! No arrow needed as the gap between sill and wall is less than the length of a cat :) Result!

Des Res

Austin is in a bit of a two an’ eight!  We’ve been having our walls dismantled - not the house walls, you understand, but the ones outside. Normally he can jump out the window onto the wall and then off to fulfil his daily murder and pillage schedule. 

So Austin has been a bit discomforted, not the least because there have been strangers in HIS garden! The good thing was they spoke Welsh, so at least he could understand. He's learnt a few new useful words! Anyway, the builders - Messrs Bodgit and Scarper worked quite well up until the jubilee weekend and then they had four days off! Well, that was last weekend. They were supposed to’ve returned last Wednesday to finish off, but they didn’t and since then it has rained non stop. BUT the good thing is Austin has a new des res with en suite right outside my bedroom window. 

So now he can jump off the bed into his new giant industrial sized litter tray without having to negotiate the hallway, stairs and several doors - especially as there is currently no wall to jump onto once he gets up there. So his convenience has become more convenient!

YEAH!

OK Austin, it wasn’t THAT funny!

On another matter, do you recognise this line up?

I just love this picture. Austin is No. 6. I feel no. 8 is in drag!?

Check out Glogirly’s post. It explains all!

Jubilee Lunch?

This pheasant was in the back garden this morning. Foolish bird! I know it’s the diamond jubilee, but he didn’t have to offer himself up as the main dish of the day. Austin was ecstatic and couldn’t wait to get out!

However, in the time it took for Austin to break down the door and for me to get my camera, the not-so foolish pheasant had hopped back over the road to the field where he normally lives in harmonious connubiality with the wife and kids. He’s subsequently been celebrating his narrow escape by squawking avian obscenities back over the road all day (I can hear him even as I type!).

Austin was a bit non-plussed!

Where’d he go?

Award time! I just want to add that CATachresis has been awarded the Liebster Award again :-) 

It is awarded to those blogs that have less than 200 followers just for encouragement and support. It is unlikely that CATachresis will ever get up to 200 readers unless I change the name to "Austin’s Fluffy Bits" or actually allow him to blog or something!  Anyway many thanks to Savannah of Savannah’s Paw Tracks for giving it to us. If you don’t know her, you must go over and say hi. She is a recovering shelter cat and boy is she recovering fast! :-) 

Finally, I can’t finish without mentioning again Queen Elizabeth’s Diamond Jubilee. Whatever one thinks about politics, the monarchy, or this particular royal family, I for one, am proud to be British and be part of this tradition. The Queen has been on the throne longer than many/most of us have even been alive and to have her knowledge, wisdom, common sense and huge experience (including twelve prime ministers from Churchill onwards) is very reassuring in these perilous and very uncertain times. She is a constant. Long may she reign!