How to successfully give your cat a pill

Materials needed for the above operation

one hammer and 4 nails
one head clamp
two medium size sticks
one industrial size cat-apault
one large pill

Directions:
1) first nail cat to floor, one nail in each paw and gently place cat's head in clamp
2) set up cat-apault at other end of room
3) wedge mouth open with sticks - one each side
4) place pill in elastic bit of cat-apault
5) and aim carefully at gape
6) retreat and get your mother to fire the shot

Please, before anyone calls the RSPCA, police and swat team, it was a doddle. He spat it out the first time. The second time I’m sure I heard the klunk as it went down! Anyway I followed him around for a bit to see if he stuck his paw down his throat ....