I clutched my bag closer to my aged body and marched purposefully towards “Perfume and Makeup”. Then, once I’d seen the interest wane from the gimlet-eyed-overall-person and everyone else in the vicinity, I sidled back around into the "Fetid Feet and Distressing Skin Condition" section, selected my desired item, paid for it at the back counter (behind electrical appliances) and slunk out past the BOGOF basket by the end door.
Austin raised an eyebrow when I told him …. well, he cocked an ear! This is him (he?). I believe he is sniggering!
aspirate, as-pirate (verb) - to breathe like Captain Jack Sparrow