Austin the poet!

One thing's for sure, there is no doubt,

she often forgets that I am out.

When this happens, I have no choice,

but give her 'the eye' and lift my voice!

Come on old dear and let me in,

it's the only way to stop the din!

Pick yourself from off the floor,

And open up this flippin' door!

First I'll have a bite to eat

And then kip down and get some sleep.

But hark! I hear the dulcet tones

Of that darn tabby, Tigger Jones! 

He's on my bed and stretched out nice!

No doubt he dreams of birds and mice.

So there's only one thing that I can do

to show you all what I think of you! 

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carbuncle, carb-uncle (noun) - a starchy male relative who's a bit of a drain 

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