It all started in the B&Q lighting department as I selected a new desk lamp:
Assist: You want a small Edison screw with that?
Me: I dunno! Do I?
Assist: Yes. You will need an SES E14
Me: I dunno! Do I?
Assist: Yes. You will need an SES E14
Me: Oh?
Assist.: It lasts 10 years.
Me: That long?
Assist: Well if you prefer we can do you a box of 3 x 2 years for the same price?
Me: Ok!
Assist.: It lasts 10 years.
Me: That long?
Assist: Well if you prefer we can do you a box of 3 x 2 years for the same price?
Me: Ok!
I had no idea what that was all about?
Ever since we as a country have been sucked into that money pit monolith called the European Union we have suddenly found that a lot of the things that we used to take for granted are no longer available to us, or now take on a different form.
For instance, let's talk about light bulbs! At one time you went into a shop and you bought pearl or clear; either 40, 60 or 100 watts. All the same fitting. Simples. They were incandescent.
Now I am incandescent…….
….. because then they introduced eco friendly energy saving bulbs. Now I'm all for saving the planet - I was first in line to cuddle a tree with Prince Charles - but why do I have to spend good money on something that takes ages to warm up, gives off a horrible smell and then actually makes the room darker, for goodness sake? They are rather grotesquely shaped like a squashed small intestine, don't fit the shade and then you discover that these wretched things, which are supposed to last 10 years, actually blow up after three days AND have mercury in them which means that you'll be picking bits of glass and silver blobs out of your hair for weeks and then end up with some kind of blood poisoning.
However, all is not lost. Nowadays we do have options. Since the original EU ruling, some 'bright sparks' have invented a plethora of different bulbs. On the market these days, there are some rather poetically named and funny shaped bulbs - light-emitting diode, halogen, tungsten, fluorescent, compact fluorescent, high intensity discharge (don't go there!), low pressure sodium (much better for you), large bayonet, small bayonet (for little soldiers?), large clip, small clip, large screw, small screw….. We're all screwed!
Ever since we as a country have been sucked into that money pit monolith called the European Union we have suddenly found that a lot of the things that we used to take for granted are no longer available to us, or now take on a different form.
For instance, let's talk about light bulbs! At one time you went into a shop and you bought pearl or clear; either 40, 60 or 100 watts. All the same fitting. Simples. They were incandescent.
Now I am incandescent…….
….. because then they introduced eco friendly energy saving bulbs. Now I'm all for saving the planet - I was first in line to cuddle a tree with Prince Charles - but why do I have to spend good money on something that takes ages to warm up, gives off a horrible smell and then actually makes the room darker, for goodness sake? They are rather grotesquely shaped like a squashed small intestine, don't fit the shade and then you discover that these wretched things, which are supposed to last 10 years, actually blow up after three days AND have mercury in them which means that you'll be picking bits of glass and silver blobs out of your hair for weeks and then end up with some kind of blood poisoning.
However, all is not lost. Nowadays we do have options. Since the original EU ruling, some 'bright sparks' have invented a plethora of different bulbs. On the market these days, there are some rather poetically named and funny shaped bulbs - light-emitting diode, halogen, tungsten, fluorescent, compact fluorescent, high intensity discharge (don't go there!), low pressure sodium (much better for you), large bayonet, small bayonet (for little soldiers?), large clip, small clip, large screw, small screw….. We're all screwed!
I haven't even tried to interpret the wattage options! Like 7 is the equivalent of 40 and 10 = 60. I will need Austin to devise one of his algorithms.
But it doesn't stop there. We have to also choose between traditional, spiral, candle, downlight, spotlight, globe, stick, golf. Golf??? How did that get there? Edison must be flickering in his grave!
I just want a bulb that I can stick in and turn on. Is that too much to ask?
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On to less contentious things!
❤Austin here (the voice of sanity). Just wanted to share this picture of my sweet Sassy cuddling the nip heart and snuggling the padded mat I sent her. If you remember, she is solely responsible for my newly developed silvervine addiction! I wanted to thank her! You can read about her excitement at receivingthe news of my undying love and devotion gift here. ❤
But it doesn't stop there. We have to also choose between traditional, spiral, candle, downlight, spotlight, globe, stick, golf. Golf??? How did that get there? Edison must be flickering in his grave!
I just want a bulb that I can stick in and turn on. Is that too much to ask?
⟺
On to less contentious things!
❤Austin here (the voice of sanity). Just wanted to share this picture of my sweet Sassy cuddling the nip heart and snuggling the padded mat I sent her. If you remember, she is solely responsible for my newly developed silvervine addiction! I wanted to thank her! You can read about her excitement at receiving
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wattage - inquiry as to how old one is?
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