My Affiliate Typist’s
Annual PurrFurMance Review
Review of The Staff
Date: 10th May 2015
Reviewed by Austin Towers
Quantity of Output: Has your purrson posted to your blog daily to give you maximum exposure worldwide and make you famous? Does she ‘eck!!!??
Quality of Output: Are you, as snoopervisor, satisfied with your purrson’s choice of photos, words, creativity, imagination, truth, fun and general interest in your postings? She tries very hard. In fact I've never met anyone who is more trying!
Client Pawticipation: Does your purrson provide sufficient ways for your fans to contact you and for you to contact them? I believe there are enough buttons on the sidebar to keep everyone popping, but not, I expect, if you are a koumpounophobe!*
Pawticipation (Part II): Does your purrson allow you to take part in fun blog-world special events, pawties, contests, and more? What special events .... ????
Client Satisfaction: Are your friends purringly contented with what they see and read on your blog? Not sure if they are content, but we do get lovely comments :)
Overall rating and comments and suggestions for improvement (in your own words):
( ) High Four paws
( ) Medium Two paws
( ) Low One paw
( ) Worse than low Claw swipe
( x ) Pawful 0 (Zero = claw swipe + bitey)
What can I say? I am somewhat disappointed, but I also find myself in a conundrum! TAT is deficient in many areas, BUT and it is a big BUT, she does feed me and pander to my every whim. She does allow me to lie on her legs until she loses all feeling and they practically drop off. When I want to go out she very patiently opens EVERY door and window several times in order to prove to me that it rains equally outside EVERY door and window!
She brushes me on demand and tickles my belleh, which I love. She talks to me like I'm a human and doesn't use that silly high pitched voice with baby words like I'm an idiot .... well, not much!
SO, on the whole I can't complain. BUT when it comes to the actual blogging thing, she is quite stubborn and displays selective deafness over my
whining gently requesting more frequent and regular postings. There is considerable room for improvement in that area!
Consequently, and after much consideration, I am demoting her from Affiliate Typist to Skivvy, effective immediately. After all, it is a role to which she is more suited! She has 30 days to contest that decision and then I will advertise for a more qualified human. Keep a look out for the advert in future editions of The Towers Times!
Thanks to everyone who is participating in this purrfurmance review. It has been very enlightening!
Here I am in my favourite place.
There are human legs underneath that are in a coma!
Above selfie included so we can once again join in the Sunday Selfie blog hop hosted by Kitties Blue.
Click on the badge to join in :)
Happy Mother's Day to all our American friends!
*koumpounophobia - fear of buttons. Apparently Steve Jobs had it and this is what led to the development of touch screen technology!
haha well all but blogging she seems to have good scores on. Opening each and every door and window is a big plusReplyDelete
I have only good things to say about The Staff! I find her sense of humor endearing and I think she is woman with wise words! Be good to her Austin!ReplyDelete
I don't know, you might not have been totally fair!ReplyDelete
Gosh, this is a tricky one ...I would probably rate my assistant between one and two paws. She has been blogging more, but I do tend to miss the fun contests, events, etc. because of her inability to keep track of important dates and/or find her glasses to read her calendar. Sigh ...ReplyDelete
Uhhhh, yeah... Zero! Zero! Zero! and two more Zeros! Yeah, I think I've rated myself honestly based on the blogs current condition.ReplyDelete
Austin give her another look see I think you might want to reappraise her performance!ReplyDelete
Um, yous demoted your assistant? Mes wonders if mes could gets away with it...? What does yous think Austin?ReplyDelete
Loves the Selfie
I think that is a little harsh- don't you agree?ReplyDelete
Harsh but perhaps true - we have the opposite problem: behind the public facade lurks neglect.....ReplyDelete
Austin! I am in awe of your strictatude, Pal. Wow--way to let the TAT have it!! Skivvy? Is that anything like Flunky? But you know, even I think you might've been a leeeeetle bit harsh--after all, you have to remember they are Humans, not kitties like us, which puts them at a terrible disadvantage to begin with.ReplyDelete
Let's go for a Brewski and you can review your review, and give me some suggestions for mine--which *might* appear this evening.
That's a little harsh, we're afraid she would be demotivated of being demoted ! PurrsReplyDelete
I think you are a little harsh, Austin - I would have given her at least one paw! Interesting about Steve Jobs. My human is just the opposite - if she sees a button it is hard for her NOT to push it!ReplyDelete
Austin, you are very, very strict in your expectations! You could be a good policecat! :p We couldn't demote our assistant without some serious repercussions...ReplyDelete
the critters in the cottage xo
P.S. It is Mother's Day in Canada too :)
Austin, aren't you being a little hard on her? Shouldn't there be a rating for Effort?ReplyDelete
I think your human is doing quite well, though all of us could be doing better, as far as our cats think, right, Austin?ReplyDelete
Thank you for reading my post about Tungsten's memorial. All I have left of her are her pictures, her ashes and my memories, so I will keep them all close to me.
Ha a skivvy! I bet that gave her a fright. I haven't reviewed my human for four years and she had an equally bad report to your human's. She has worsened since then and I don't think there is a rating low enough for her.ReplyDelete
Good luck wif da hunt for a typist - dey is not easy to find.ReplyDelete
Austin! That was rather harsh do you not think now in retrospect? If she caters to your every whim which IS standard CT...Cat Treatment... that is at least satisfactory as one is expected to cater to the cat's every whim. I think she may deserve a bit better mark for opening all doors and windows despite your not believing what she told you regarding the precipitation abounding in all of the out of doors. It is a bit disheartening not to be believed.ReplyDelete
I will be very interested to see if she contends her new Skivvy ranking and to see if you truly post for a new human and what comes out of that! I still need to do the lady's review. On the up side, that's a great selfie!ReplyDelete
Well it's a sad showing but you seem to have her well in paw.ReplyDelete
It may seem a bit harsh, Austin, but indeed, her blogging duties are quite separate from her catering to your other needs.ReplyDelete
Oh Austin your review left is giggling! We better not do one or we will no longer HAVE a typist! Happy Mum's day to your Mum!ReplyDelete
Marty and the Gang
Left US giggling, see what I mean???? *sigh*......Delete
Well, we hope this review gets your human's butt in gear. ;)ReplyDelete
Whoa! Were we supposed to do the reviews today? TW failed me again. I like your blog and you are a handsome bloke er cat.ReplyDelete
I hope you can get your typist to improve!ReplyDelete
I'd give you my mom but when you read her review (probably next week) I don't think you would want her! Love, CodyReplyDelete
Wow, Austin, you're from the school of tough love, we can see! Maybe you could give her a little extra credit for trying and all the attention she gives you...ReplyDelete
As far as client satisfaction, we think you and your blog deserve 4 paws! :)
Good thing you already had Mother's Day in the U.K. as it wouldn't have bern too nice to do this review on Mother's Day. We had to look up Skivvy. That is quite a demotion for your A.T. Hope she can redeem herself. Thanks for joining us for our special Mother's Day edition of our blog hop. You look mighty comfy in your selfie, Austin. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista JoReplyDelete
Oh Austin i think Mum has been pretty darn good..she can't be as random as our Mum MOL..Paw pats Dinnermintz xxxxReplyDelete
Sweet selfie of you on the staff's legs, Austin! We really enjoyed your PurrFurmance review, it was very entertaining and made our day!ReplyDelete
Aaaaaaw Austin yous so adowable. We musta miss unnewstood 'bout all this. Sowry, we wulda ppurrticipated. Course wight now weez bowin' down to mudder nature and hers whims. So weez not purrticipatin' much in anyfin'. :( Hope yous mommy had a ppawsum Mudders day. She got to celebwate twice, since we furgot da UK day.ReplyDelete
Dezi and Lexi
I'm sure Athena can relate! Mummy here is a bit lazy in the blogging department (not exactly lazy, but a bit overwhelmed as there is always so much going on). Athena also loves sleeping on my legs at night and I haven't the heart to move her.ReplyDelete
Athena and Marie
We are having problems with our typist too Austin - when she's had her lunch and is sitting down she falls asleep and we have to wait until she wakes up which sometimes is several hours later. Last night she watched a film on TV and didn't even wake up until it had been over for at least an hour - then she blames us for keeping her awake but of course we need to sit on her knee or she could start sleep walking. Do you have any tips on how to keep her awake?ReplyDelete
Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx
Perhaps this review will serve to inspire your Skivvy to improve her purrformance. Everyone could use a little improvement, including our human!!! She slacks quite a bit when it comes to visiting our furiends' blogs, and even posting for us sometimes! A purrformance review might be in order for her as well...ReplyDelete
I'm certainly glad you explained what that long word meant. I was flabbergasted to see it!!ReplyDelete
HAPPY Belated MOTHERS DAY!!ReplyDelete
Your furry child certainly keeps you hopping!
Austin my man.......regarding the performance review for your AT, remember that it's always better to go with the "devil you know than the devil you don't know" (or something like that). Your AT has been with you through thick and thin and squeezes out time for blog fun when she's able (or remembers) - whereas someone ELSE might decide to sit on a chaise and munch bon bons all day and totally ignore you! Just give it some thought before placing that ad!ReplyDelete
Granny scores nothing yet...she must be somewhere underneath the blankie too, Austin :D Nice Selfie though :) Pawkisses for a Happy Week ahead :) <3ReplyDelete
Well, we can see there's definitely room for improvement. Still, don't be too harsh. She's only hooman after all...ReplyDelete
Pawful? Oh dear, poor you. Funny how you're looking so well, though, what with all that neglect,,,, [Hilarious post, by the way!]ReplyDelete
Heheh! Have a nice Tuesday!ReplyDelete
I miaow like the Colehouse cats , Don´t be to harsh , she is only a human :)ReplyDelete
Very comprehensive remew of the typist overall abilities Austin. We are joining this worldwide evaluation and the NuCat movement and will be posting a detailed analysis on Friday. Glad you are keeping it real for cats the world over oh great non-leader. (There shall be no cat herding of course)ReplyDelete
It's difficult to get good staff, Austin. I think that review was ever so slightly harsh, but I can see it's going to be a tricky task getting her trained up to your standards!ReplyDelete
Oh dear Austin... this is a very disturbing turn of events. Trust us, we know what it's like to live with an inept typist, but try to see past the obvious flaws... You have your servant trained ever-so-perfectly in every other aspect and getting new help is not as easy as it might seem... The results could be disastrous! Purrs from the Zee and Zoey GangReplyDelete
* guffaws from NZ * Oooh boy if we had to do a review of our Mum's care - well dare we print it MOL!! Yes, we ARE late for last week but try to visit everyone. Harvey's ear surgery didn't help ;-)ReplyDelete
Silver, Miranda and Phoebe