Hi, it's me, Austin Towers :-)
I don't ask for much out of life, really I don't! My requirements are extremely modest and so there is no doubt about what those requirements are, I have made a little list, which is as follows:
- I only need sixteen separate napping spots which, of course, includes your lap just as you are about to get in the car and go to Llandudno
- I can reject every sachet of the poo-reena pollack'nparsnips pap and have the salmon and sweet-potato frittata with extra cheese that's on your plate any time I want
- I will be let in and out of all the doors and windows within the space of ten minutes (world record attempt, verification pending)
- That you will make it stop raining outside one door or window upon request
- That I shall ignore all my 3892 toys you bought me at great expense because I want to play with one toy you have left in the locked drawer with the missing key
- That you climb to the top of the bookcase to retrieve any object I leave there, even though you will probably fall and break your arm
- You will accept every gift I bring you whether it be dead or alive without you screaming the place down
- That you don't keep saying to me "What do you want, Austin?" when I have just told you
- That you stop saying things like "Hoozabooffleboythen?" in front of Tigger, so that he laughs like a drain and goes off to tell Big Ginge and his Gang!
And finally…..
- Mummyzickleflufflebum would like neck scritching privileges reinstated …..
…. NOW!
⟺
message, the-mess-age - the time of life when humans start to fall apart
⟺
Perfectly legit list!
ReplyDeletedood....if ewe haz any con creet; it woodna bee a bad eye dea ta put thiz list in it.... sew yur mum canna brake theez laws.... once it be set in stone itz werd.....trooth....!!! just dont bring home burd...oh kay !!!
ReplyDeleteOMC! TW is doubled over at that tiny list! I notice that you left off the part about her being your scratching post and teether. Oh wait, that's on my list.
ReplyDeleteI think your list is purrfect !
ReplyDeleteMy mom-person sits here and shakes her head , I wonder why ??!!
Austin you make several very valid points and I don't see anything too troubling about your requests. :)
ReplyDeleteLooks perfectly reasonable to me.
ReplyDeleteThose are all very reasonable requests! Me-Ommmmm
ReplyDeleteJust Llandudno?
ReplyDeleteVery reasonable requests! Don't settle for less, like hello!
ReplyDelete-Achae
My cats approve of your list, Austin!
ReplyDeleteThat looks like a very reasonable list to us!
ReplyDeleteThe Florida Furkids
You are just too shy Austin, if you waant something then just speak up!
ReplyDeleteYour requirements are so modest, I don't even understand why you had to put them in writing. Then again, you're dealing with a mom so I understand. I'd like to steal several of them, specifically the second to last bullet. I am constantly also telling her what I want yet she doesn't get it. MOL about the last one.
ReplyDeleteYep, neck scritches are the best, aren't they? The lady wishes I wanted to nap in her lap!
Purrs,
Annie
This all sounds perfectly reasonable to me - modest, in fact!
ReplyDeleteLOL My cats approve of your list!!
ReplyDeleteAll reasonable!! LOL
Austin, we hope your demands...er, we mean requests...are met!
ReplyDeleteYou don't ask for much at all
ReplyDeleteBenny & Lily
Will there be an ultimatum? Think of something good ;-0
ReplyDeleteLet me guess: your human cannot even respect these simple rules.
ReplyDeleteSigh.
Purrs
Purrfectly reasonable requests : you don't ask so much, we guess it's just a reminder for your human of basic good habits when you live with a cat. Purrs
ReplyDeleteMawahwhhahwhahwaaa ROFLMAO now you need to let us know in a week if she performed all her duties, including climbing on furniture to retrieve your toys..MOL xx00xx
ReplyDeleteMollie and Alfie
Purrfectly reasonable list there Austin. You just can't get the staff these days. The trials and tribulations of human ownership is never ending. Have a terrific Tuesday.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes Molly
That seems a very reasonable list of requests. Can't these humans do the slightest little thing to accommodate us - sheesh!
ReplyDeleteDip Bridge and Elliot x
This is so my moggies That I shall ignore all my 3892 toys you bought me at great expense because I want to play with one toy you have left in the locked drawer with the missing key
ReplyDeleteGoodness, Austin. We would have thought that those demands were pretty self explanatory. Humans, tut.
ReplyDeleteThe Paw Relations
Austin I think this is a purrfectly reasonable list of demands and I further think that if these demands are not complied with a suitable punishment may be instituted post haste....something perhaps in the hork/yak/hairball department placed in a strategic location perhaps????????
ReplyDeleteKitty Hugs, Sammy
Sounds about right, Austin. But the list is kinda short, don't you think?
ReplyDeleteThis all sounds very reasonable to me Austin,xx Speedy
ReplyDeleteHi, Austin, Thought you were looking particularly debonair in today's photo.. n I see the staff have been keeping a good eye on the grounds for you.
ReplyDeleteI Love your list.. especially "That you don't keep saying to me "What do you want, Austin?" when I have just told you" Sweetie, who lives here with me.. says that's the one that annoys her most about me, too. Hope you see signs of improvement soon. Love'ya xxx
Oh Austin, that is such a good list. We took notes and are giving our Person a list of our demands. Hope your demands are met. Have a great day.
ReplyDeletethose sound quite reasonable to me! Hoping every task is performed to your liking!
ReplyDeleteWe think those are completely reasonable demands!
ReplyDeleteWe think those are completely reasonable demands!
ReplyDeleteWe think those are completely reasonable demands!
ReplyDeleteWe particularly like your requirement that your Mum will gladly accept all your gifts - have you considered gift wrapping for the extra surprise?
ReplyDeleteLuv Hannah and Lucy xx xx
Regarding your word of the day. Jan has definitely reached her mess-age!
ReplyDeleteWe think your list of demands is very reasonable, Austin.
Thanks to share the real sense of the word = message - mess-age..... I never know this!!!
ReplyDeleteSweet Austin we thinks that list is terrific!! Good job! Our Mumsy is at that mess-age. We just didn't know what it was called, thank you for defining it for us. Hugs and nose kisses
ReplyDeleteSounds like a good list to me.
ReplyDeleteSue B
Austin, there is absolutely nothing but the voice..er pen..of reason here! Of course your demands will be met with the usual alacrity!
ReplyDeleteHoozabooffleboy, you have earned ever privilege and there will be more to come I am certain.
Tigger? Learn to keep a confidence won't you? Shame. Big Ginge and his Gang may well invade YOUR (and Austin's) territory and you will not have anything to say that causes strife!
Mummyzickleflufflebum...I have to report that my mom has similar epithets that she hurls toward me when others are away. Whay we have to put up with!
xxxoooxx
you seem very reasonable to me... why are humans so hard to train?
ReplyDeleteXOXO lucy
Dear Mummyzickleflufflebum,
ReplyDelete\
Pawrents!!! Me is purrticularly purrturbed with mine right noe. Your demands seem furry reasonable. Mes is printing them and shall leaves them on my Mommy's pillow!
Kisses
Nellie
Demanding little chap, aren't ya? (Just pulling your paw...I'm very impressed with your list and might have to use some of theese ones at Headquarters.)
ReplyDeleteAustin I loved this message to the staff. It made me laugh and laugh and I needed it this morning! I think The Staff has a wonderful sense of humor.. :)
ReplyDeleteLaughing like a drain over here, for sure.
ReplyDeleteHello Sweet Austin - Sassy here! I am so glad to be back blogging, but even when Mommie was sick, I still snuck around and followed your blog - I just couldn't reply, because you know the whole opposable thumbs thing!
ReplyDeleteSassy
Hi Carolyn!
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Faraday's over here saying, "well...DUH."
ReplyDeleteAllie's the one laughing like a drain.
I just want in on the Mummyzickleflufflebum neck scritches, please. ~ Maxwell
You are a harsh taskmaster, Austin. I LIKE that. Please come see where you have been stationed for your Viceroyship. I needed you close by for the occasional body-guarding duties, cause, you know, once in awhile I make the brothers and boyfriends kind of mad. You could bring Tigger too if you want.
ReplyDeleteHey Austin! What about your holidays:)?
ReplyDeleteI’ve nominated you for the Super Sweet Blogging Award! Concatulations! Visit me for more details: http://swamizoe.blogspot.com/2013/09/a-super-sweet-day-me-ommmmmmm.html
ReplyDeleteMe-Ommmmmm
Yo, Buddy--How's about we go for a pint and then kill a little mousie or sumfing and bring it to your Mom as a nice s'prise?
ReplyDeleteQuestion #1 Why was one of your toys locked in a drawer in the first place?
ReplyDeleteQuestion #2 Who threw away the key?
Purrs,
Nissy
That is not a lot to ask, handsome Austin; we're sure your Mom will be able to do all those things quite well for you, dear boy...Happy weekend, precious friend=we love you, dude!...xoxo...Calle, Halle, Sukki, Mommy Cat, Daddy Cat
ReplyDeleteSo Austin, like, what's the big deal here??? That list is already published in the Human Training Guide of All Cats...sounds like you maybe need to get that hooman of yours back to Lesson 101c.
ReplyDeleteMay we use your list of requirements as our own? We think they would meet our needs perfectly. Purrs and hugs, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Jo
ReplyDeleteMOL Austin!! We love that list and agree that it is 100% reasonable... Opps... we gotta go... it's the human and she doesn't seem so happy to see us on the computer...
ReplyDeletePurrs from the Zee and Zoey gang!
The Human has been living in the MessAge for most of her life.
ReplyDeleteMOL!!! We laughed until we cried reading this one!
ReplyDeleteAre you sure it's not 3893 toys, Austin???
Glogirly says she's officially entered the message.
; ) Katie
I see you struggle with your staff too - how do they not get it??
ReplyDeleteIt never hurts to demand what you want, and then purr like crazy when you get it...humans love that!
ReplyDeleteThose sound like perfectly reasonable requests. I'm surprised they need telling, but bipeds are not very bright!
ReplyDelete