"There are three doors to the outside and the downstairs is upstairs and the upstairs is downstairs and the back garden is upstairs and the front garden is downstairs. The back door is at the side, the conservatory is upstairs behind the kitchen and the front door is, rather surprisingly, at the front"
Being a tad contrary and a bit of a tease, sometimes I'll make for the stairs as if intent on ascending, but then veer off at the last minute humming distractedly and detour to the study or front door (which is at the front). By the time he's cottoned on, he's more-or-less at the top and looking a bit foolish with his head stuck between the bannisters and front near-side paw poised, ready for the ritual "thwacking of the innocent passer-by". He can hear me sniggering around the corner and comes down again to have another moan.
Meanwhile I've made it to the bathroom and am mixing the cement and preparing the creams and powders necessary to carry out running repairs in the form of rendering and grouting on my phiz. Austin sits on my foot and apes me.
In this fashion we continue for some time in companionable silence, which is only broken by the sound of a cat abluting and a human being plastered! When finally we both make it upstairs, I have to make amends by standing very close to him while he eats his fishy bits, keeping a sharp look out for thieves, marauders and Tiggers.
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