Balconies and Wardrobes!

Just thought I'd give a quick update on Mick and Pat Enterprises who are allegedly building a balcony next door. Remember them? They are now seven months into the 2 - 3 week job! Good old Bodgit and Scarper - I do believe the council are going to start charging council tax on the scaffolding, as it's been there so long. We've chatted up the builders and they say it's because the owner keeps changing his mind. We've also chatted up the owner and he says it's because the builders don't listen! Meanwhile a family of small rodents have moved in and taken up residence on the scaffolding, which would be advertised in the property pages as a one up, one down bijou residence with air conditioning and outdoor plumbing. Who can blame them? It's a steal.

I think it will be very nice when it's finished, but fear the scaffolding will still be there long after the house has become derelect with dry rot or rising damp. The latter would be from the Straits of course.

Apparently global warming is causing the polar ice cap to melt and the water to rise until the only hope we have left is Noah floating by in his ark, although have to say that the current health and safety regulations would not even allow him to start building, let alone have animals holed up in there with humans! Not that anyone would be worried particularly about the humans, but the furry, feathered and flying things have a host of regulations and legislation to protect them. So each would have to have it's own room, mini-bar and satellite TV, with room service and swedish masseur available 24/7. It would necessitate a rather large craft in order to accommodate everyone and their requirements, I fear.

I'm actually not totally convinced that, in the current financial climate, the necessary funding could be secured in order to purchase the raw materials, and also poor old Noah would have no end of a problem getting his carbon footprint down to an acceptable size 8 in order to obtain permission to sail. In any event I'm still waiting for that whole greenhouse effect thing to kick in, having had below freezing temperatures for it seems like forever - and snow!!! Here?? At least it would save on the heating bills.

Well, I've got a couple of digressions in first. So now back to Austin.

Way, way back when we first encountered him and he inveigled himself into our hearts, we thought he might be a bit lacking in the mobility department because of his putative disability. Ha! That thought was soon despatched and filed away in the drawer marked "yeah right" in the skeptics library of aphorisms, as I watched him strolling along the ridge of the neighbour's roof!

Since he's rediscovered "on high", he's conquered all the book cases, book shelves and wall cupboards, not to mention getting his head stuck up the back of the curtain rod in the living room! And now it's wardrobes! He can't see one now without having to plot a course to the summit. It can be quite tricky balancing on the top of the bookcase trying to negotiate the chasm over which he has to leap to reach his ultimate goal. Descent can also be tricky as he found out when he tried to jump from the top of the one in my room to the bed - and missed. Ouch! He was very graceful though, as his paws slid slowly down the edge of the duvet, landing on the floor with a thump and a bump. His embarrassment was profound, but he tried to cover it up by pretending it was all part of the plan and he really wanted to explore under the bed anyway! Have you ever seen a black cat blush?