Monday, 26 January 2009

It's that time again!

Every so often the earth, moon and sun manage to get themselves all lined up in a row and scientists closely monitor the event to determine the likelihood of tsunami-like sea conditions ensuing. Apparently the gravitational pull of both the moon and the sun at the same time causes some cosmic aggravation here on terra not-so-firma, especially when there are storms brewing.

Well, in this household we had a similar cosmic occurrence when Austin's de-worming and de-fleaing administration coincided! The tooth and claw alignment brought about by the convergence of these two events caused some rather bloody gravitational pull on my skin - I suppose you could call it "terror derma"! Whatever! There was one heck of a storm! Usually the dirty deeds are done about a month apart, but for some reason (maybe because it's winter and parasite activity on furry hosts is virtually non-existent), we'd let it slide. Anyway I thought to get it over and done with in one go and thus only have to deal with the nuclear fallout once instead of running the gamut of his displeasure on two separate occasions. "Once" might possibly be understood as an error of judgement, but "twice" could be construed as habitual abuse.

We've got the pill popping down to a fine art - see "How to successfully give your cat a pill", although we have dispensed with the hammer, nails and head clamp, as being surplus to requirements. The two sticks and cat-apault are still necessary for a successful outcome though, and these were utilised to great effect, so much so that the usual coughing, wretching and sticking his paw down his throat was completely unnecessary as the pill was already doing the business down in his hindmost part. The flea thing though is another matter completely. You'd think WW3 had just been announced. It doesn't matter how I disguise it, HE KNOWS! The evil concoction is kept in the drawer of the table on the landing along with loads of other stuff like candles, batteries, candles, plastic rain hats, candles, dud biros, and all those other things you feel that one day might "come in".

Anyway on this occasion I approached the drawer with a duster, a can of furniture polish and a certain nonchalance, on the pretext of doing some light dusting. He was not remotely deceived because I never do any housework to speak of unless we've got people coming, and as he knew my diary was devoid of any social engagements - well only the double glazing man, and as our social intimacy only extends to a couple of polite telephone calls, he didn't count - there was obviously chicanery afoot! I opened the drawer as if on a whim, rummaged around in the detritus waving the duster like a magician's handkerchief and undercover of all the flapping and waving slipped the ampule in my pocket. None of this duped Austin, of course, who glared at my pocket and shot off into a dark corner. I retired temporarily. Eventually he would have to come out to eat.

Much later just as I was considering going to bed, he emerged from the darkness and made a run for the kitchen. Gotcha! With military precision Ma and I got him cornered, whipped him up onto the table, divided the fur around his nape, broke the ampule and rammed the contents roughly in the right area. Sorted? Well almost. He turned his head to take a chomp of my hand, didn't he!! I guess at least he will be free of fleas and mites in his left ear - and I definitely won't be receiving any unwelcome attention from fleas, mites or any other microscopic insects for the foreseeable future, as most of the rest of it went on me anyway!

Austin grumbled alot for the next day or so and slunk around trying hard to look victimised (but only when he thought I was looking), and every time I approached him he flinched! Now that really hurt. I hope he never learns how to use the phone, because I'm not sure how I'd explain any of this to the RSPCA or Social Services, or whoever it is he decides to call!! It is an advantage that his short term memory is suspect, though, because as soon as the requisite number of hours had passed, he was back in his most favourite place in all the world - my lap :>)


  1. So descriptive, I was there!

    Frightened, but there LOL.

    Luv Bruv.

  2. Oh caro you have me scratching now.
    Brilliant read!!

  3. Thought you were there Bruv? lol

    I can send some Frontline, Marjorie rotfl


  4. rofl here for real!
    lol @ left ear

  5. Poor Austin... they thought he was going to a good home ;)


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