Monday, 18 March 2013

I'm now a statistic!

It's the human here! I'm just having a whinge ;)

We were picked (our household) by the Office of National Statistics as one of the 130,000 "lucky" ones in the UK this year to be visited and have stupid questions asked about life, the universe and everything!! You can't refuse apparently!! 


The government official chappy made an appointment and he came along last Friday. He said it would be only twenty minutes seeing we just had one cat and not eleven children in the house!! Well, he actually stayed an hour and twenty minutes as Austin turned out to be more complicated than he thought! 

You wouldn't believe some of the questions - or maybe you would, if you know this government! Among all the usual stuff about education, work and health there were these four questions: 


1) How happy are you on a scale of 1 to 10? 

2) How satisfied are you with your life ….. ?
3) How happy were you yesterday ….? 
4) How anxious were you yesterday…… ? 

I HAVE NEVER, IN ALL MY BORN DAYS, HEARD ANYTHING SO @*£$%^ STUPID!!!! Austin said his thoughts on the matter were completely off the scale!


I told the government official chappy that I couldn't even remember what I had for breakfast let alone my emotional state yesterday and please could I get back to him after I had consulted my regression therapist? Austin was in tucks!!


Austin declined to answer any questions regarding his mental state, but when pressed, on the subject of education he revealed he had a Dogtorate in CataNOMics from the University of Catatonia.  



However he conveniently forgot to mention the ASBO* he received from the local Magistrate (me) just the day before.


When the government official chappy left he seemed to have acquired a bit of a facial tic!

*ASBO = Anti-Social Behaviour Order



government/governmental - govern-mental - a form of collective mind control

60 comments:

  1. OH! The BEST part of your post is you get to curse with the "Pound Sterling" sign!

    ::consumed with envy::

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  2. What a time waster! You should have told that government type that your time would have been MUCH better spent catering to Austin's every whim.

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  3. You know what I'd have done? If it was "only 20 min" I'd have had him conduct the interview on the doorstep. That way he'd never have spend over an hour on this nonsense.

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  4. Austin
    that is the way it is here in the States when they take the Census. You cannot refuse to answer that either. *sigh*

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  5. Anyone who wants to try to govern OUR mommy's mental state has our blessing - and good luk with THAT one chaps! (*snicker*)

    We'd have LOVED to have seen that facial tic!

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  6. Oh Austin, that was rude of that person to interrupt your day. What is the matter with the govern. over there?? Glad you expressed your feelings. That always makes you feel better. Take care.

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  7. This is amazing! We got pages of questions to answer from the US Census a few years ago. None of them were about our feelings...
    I bet the government guy stayed so long because of Austin's brilliant repartee.

    xxoo
    Maggie

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  8. YOur FEELINGS??? That is a new low! Probably soon to come to we poor souls here on this side of the ocean. Sigh.

    You two handled it great and I laughed at Trish's comment about the Pound Sterling symbol. Coolio!

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  9. Austin, you look so distinguished and handsome with your glasses as hat, xxoo

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  10. Those are some silly questions! Austin, we hope you gave that man some silly answers in return!! :)

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  11. Silly, silly, silly questions. We have the census takers here, they show up on the doorstep if the proper forms are not mailed in. We pity the poor smuck that had to ask such touchy-feely questions of our Mama. Of course there are eight of us so he would have had to schedule an entire day. MOL!

    Cindi Lou & The Kitty Krew

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  12. OMG - I've never heard of anything so silly. Love all your answers - good for you. Austin - you should have put the bitey on him!

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  13. Silly questions always deserve the best silly answers!

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  14. Austin - Callie here. Sassy is too busy fanning herself after seeing your picture with your glasses to type. I think that she is drooling a little also....

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  15. Whoa your gub-mint is nosey. Ours just does a census every 10 years where TW claimed me as an adopted daughter.

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  16. OMC I hope we don't get a letter..BOL. What a waste of your time.. Loved the post though bawahhaaa xx00xxx

    Mollie and Alfie

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  17. I couldn't believe some human can be this SILLY !
    Thanks COD ! For Smart kitty like you !

    A- Ham ! If I were there with you, I will help you POOOOOOT AWAY ..SILLY CENSUS...tee..heh..I sure he can't be long ! Gone with da wind...MOL
    Xoxox

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  18. Those were really silly questions! Mommy's laughing like crazy.

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  19. Hahaha ! We had that once in Belgium too ! However the guy didn't ask if we were happy or not ! But he had other stupid questions. And yes, you had to answer ! So I see it happens in other countries too !

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  20. that is HILARIOUS!! They actually PAY someone to do that????!! OMG!

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  21. Another person paid to do nothing worthwhile within the government. What a complete waste of time.

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  22. Another person paid to do nothing worthwhile within the government. What a complete waste of time.

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  23. What? You can't refuse to receive the guy? Well, my human thinks your definition of today's word is right on point!
    Purrs

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  24. Thanks for the warning - we are going to hide if anyone wants to question us on how many mice have been tortured in the local area and what we think of government officials.
    Luv Hannah and Lucy xx xx
    p.s. Of course we could just plead insanity!

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  25. I would answer, I happy, woof woof. :)

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  26. We think the Austin apple doesn't fall too far from the human tree! Glad you had fun with the chap, can't wait to see what they do with the info.

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  27. Wow, that's pretty interesting. And interesting that you can't refuse!

    Piggy kisses,
    Katie and Coccolino the mini pig

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  28. Silly questions! We don't even want to know what other silly questions will undoubtedly be thought up for the next time around. Can you imagine? We start in on a facial tic just thinking about it! Purrs...

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  29. Wow that is a long time for some silly questions.
    Sue B

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  30. Well done, indeed! I hope the chappy had some anecdotes to share with his home mates at the end of the day!!

    Shame, Austin. I too, don't believe all that "I can't help chasing the bird" malarkey, either!

    :)

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  31. GO Austin!!...Great post=love it!!MOL...We are so glad to be your friends...xoxo...Calle, Halle, Sukki

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  32. Austin, tell your Humom you needs a Alfie box... Full of treats and toys to cheer you up, after that traumatic experience.. MOL xx00xx

    Mollie and Alfie

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  33. Those questions sound even stupider than anything we'd be asked in the USA unless it was our therapist asking. Mom says that she's with you. Remembering breakfast or even a train of thought is a challenge. Did we have breakfast today? Purrs and hugs from the kitties at www.thecatonmyhead.com, Lily Olivia, Misty May, Mauricio, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Josette

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  34. I cannot believe you let that peep take time away from meeting all of Austin's needs...(Mom says she didn't know those kind of jobs were real LOL)

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  35. I bet you gave them a run for their money!!!

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  36. Dear Austin,
    Ne is so furry happy that the Canadian Census has competition for silly questions! At least we was allowed to do ours on line. Mommy was a little disgusted that she could not answer Yes to the Sex question.
    Kisses
    Nellie

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  37. "A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti ..."

    Heh heh.

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  38. Oh theese one takes the cake! Glad you put the "chappy" through the paces! (You two crack us up, thanks for that!)

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  39. I was wondering what ASBO meant.

    Let me see. I wonder what I would've said to the questions asked to you.

    Nice definition on governmental... SO LOVE IT.

    Huggies and Cheese,

    Haopee

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  40. Eye noe this commint haz nothing ta due with this post, but eye wanted ta stop bye N say thanx... & if eye said thanx a bazillion timez...it wood still knot bee enuff...

    thanx for stoppin by... N leevin condolences messagez for me....... N me mom....eye trooly appreciates this.....N me mom doez two.....

    sendin de blessings oh St Francis two all......

    love frum
    sauce of fishbone: 2-6-03 ~~~~ 3-17-13

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  41. Geez... talk about the ultimate form of spam... an actual human coming to your house to harass you with silly questions that have no real merit on anything... I can't remember what I had for breakfast either and I'm not sure what blog I'm visiting at the moment... something about a cat, I think his name begins with the letter "A" - it's all just so fuzzy as you age...

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  42. With the state of the country, you'd think they'd have something better to do!

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  43. How odd. I don't think we have anything like this in the States.

    Good for Austin for giving him a run for his money!

    Nubbin wiggles,
    Oskar

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  44. MOL!!! Your government sounds about as silly as ours over here!! :P

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  45. The Human gotted trapped by one those census questioner peoples and it went on for years! You did real good, Austin.

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  46. These surveys with questions out of context ,poor of Mr. Austin.Merlina

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  47. Your government sounds about as silly as ours over in Sweden *mol*

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  48. We agree with Layla, he was beholden by Austin. They should knight Austin. But that's royal affairs not government. oh well.

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  49. Had the government guy brought along a little nip....

    Purrs,
    Nissy

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  50. Thanks so much for visiting and leaving your nice about Lucy. That means a lot to me.

    It was nice to meet you both. This post made me smile.

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  51. Oh that is hysterical. You should just use one easy answer, NONE of you Business. That is terrible that they do that. Austin, give them a good whap with that paw of yours. Hope you have a good week end.

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  52. Austin's Word of the Day is a perfect way to describe the visit!

    Happy Weekend :)

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  53. OMC!!! I can't believe I almost missed this post!!!
    I'm crying I'm laughing so hard. ...this is a crazy practice you Brits have. I'm fairly certain no one in the govern-MENTAL here gives a rip what my emotional state was yesterday, last Tuesday or any OTHER day for that matter.
    HAHA!

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  54. Never believe a statistic you haven't faked yourself. I hope that Austin did his best with his ASBO. Paula

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  55. Happy weekend, sweet friend...xoxo...Calle, Halle, Sukki

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  56. What stupid questions! Now, if they had asked what is Austin's favourite flavour of Stinky Goodness, there might have been some point to it! As it is, however...
    I don't suppose the Census Man brought some Crunchy Snacks with him, did he?

    Trixie the Black Panfur

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  57. I can come up with all sorts of reasons for why I am always behind in my work, but this one takes the cake! Hysterical! I seriously doubt if any govt official here has asked any citizen (including spouse) if they are happy.

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  58. I thought that it was only Sweden that have this nonsens statistics :)

    XOXO

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