On a charge!

How come going wireless means you end up with more wires? Curious to know? I reckon it’s all a conspiracy put out by Mr Cable of Cable and Wireless in his endeavours to take over the whole shebang! Wifi is an oxymoron and I am probably the moron part of that. Will come back to that later.

One has (well, I have!) so many gadgets that need to be charged on a daily basis, it’s getting to the point that finding a free plug hole is well nigh impossible. I reckon the pressure this household alone puts on the national grid is quite significant - so much so that we’ve had a couple of power “outages” in just the last month! What with the ipad, ipod, kindle, laptop, phones of various kinds, camera, toothbrush …… not forgetting all the items that need to be plugged in all the time! Sometimes the house resembles the poop deck on the star ship Enterprise. Beam me up Scottie! Which reminds me. What about the wifi? Surely that can’t be good for us, all those little beams darting about the place. I could get fried without even knowing. Come to think of it, I’ve been feeling a bit frazzled for a while now. Am I slowly being irradiated?

The logistics surrounding the charging up is quite complicated and I’m having to draw up a chart so that each item has its allotted time for charging, making sure that at no time the elastic band at the power station undergoes undue stress. This of course means I have to ascertain how long each one needs for the charging process.  A degree in physics would help. I  prefer the chargees to be plugged in concurrently but lack of strong enough current means they have to be consecutively charged. Bit like some prison sentences!

Of course the worst thing is you can have about a hundred chargers around the house, as you keep everyone of them from stuff you’ve discarded or “recycled” BUT you can never find the one you need at that moment OR it is the very one that Austin chewed right through the night before! At least he’s wireless, but he does have antenna!

Life used to be so simple!

One’s address used to be 123 Letsbe Avenue not crinkly@something.con

A PC was the bobby who used to clip your ear after a minor misdemeanour before he "sent you on your way” back to your mother

Social networking was done down the pub

A laptop was your cat

A mouse was the little furry creature your cat brought to your laptop

Tablets could only be got on prescription

Oranges, blackberries and apples were only fruit

An eReader was a typing mistake

A keyboard was a piano

Tweeting was an activity exclusive to birds

….. and windows crashing? That was next doors kid with a well aimed football!

Finally, just in case there is someone in the world who has not seen Ronnie Corbett’s brilliant blackberry sketch. Here it is. Meanwhile Austin and I are crawling back into our cave: