Had to break up Austin and one of the Ginge gang in a fight to the death last night - for about the third time! Sounded like a scene out of Stephen King. I dunno, one minute they're all smelly poos and kitten Whiskas and the next they're strutting around like Braveheart! As soon as I opened the front door (the one at the front!) with the obligatory bucket of water, all I was confronted with was silence! Peering into the gloom I made out Austin and Big Ginge's second in command, Ginge Secundus, obviously resting after round three, but still engaging in a good deal of posturing - arched back, hackles raised etc etc. Employing a bit of lateral thinking and mindful of what happens when one chucks buckets of water over cats, I decided to take the long term view and that a UN style approach might be more desirable.
I cleared my throat "Errrrhum?" They both looked at me:
A - Wot?
Me - Well I was thinking .....
A - Yes, well could you hurry up, I'm a bit occupied here!
Me - I was wondering if we should bring in the arbitration services ..
A - What for? A load of namby pamby overpaid conchies.
Me - Well there is obviously a need for some kind of negotiated settlement so that peace and harmony can be restored and the future of catkind is secure.
A - ********!
GS - OK Austin, I've gotta go anyway. My human gets a bit freaked if I'm in much after 10. Was fab, must do it again, how are you fixed for Thursday?
A - Great. Ciao mate.
That was it. It was just a typical teenage night out! Secundus sloped off into the night and Austin strolled in, oh so slowly, and flopped, as only kids that age can do, on his bed in front the telly! My fruitless attempts to engage him in further conversation were met with grunts and scowls. Oh dear, roll on the twenties!
Footnote. Caught Austin having a convivial tête-à-tête with Big Ginge this morning. I am thinking very carefully about moving to inner city Menai Bridge where there are more clubs, societies and initiatives to keep kids occupied and off the streets at night.