Sunday, 22 November 2015

This is the ......

....I'm-really-really-looking-forward-to-Christmas Selfie
with decorous paw and tail dangle..

...and matching hat/frame combo!

This is a blog hop hosted by our friends the Kitties Blue.
Click on the badge below to view other hoppers!


decorous - usually sung after di-verse


Saturday, 21 November 2015

Caturday Artification!

The Staff used the appropriately named "Photo Editor" on iPad. I am thinking of consulting NUCAT about the blatant ridiculing of felines by those who have opposable thumbs and a bit of a malicious streak! There should be some redress, don't you think?

PeeEss, The Staff has been lax in helping me visit blogs the last few days. I hope you will forgive her, but she came down with a bad case of galloping inertia! 


redress - to dress again
address - to increase one's wardrobe
dressage - the age when jeans are no longer appropriate


Wednesday, 18 November 2015


Anyone care to join me?


feligarchy - a political system of rule by cats
(request for entry into the OED pending)


Sunday, 15 November 2015

I've been framed!

Yuk!! Staff aka TAT what do you think you are playing at putting me in a big fat frame in those awful garish colours? They do nothing to enhance my natural good looks at all!

Well, to be brutal, Austin, the photographic quality of your back-of-the-head-and-two-paw selfie is very poor and does nothing to "enhance your natural good looks"! I thought I would try and distract people!

Fair enough! 

We are joining our friends Kitties Blue in their Sunday Selfie blog hop. Click on the badge below to join in :-)



Saturday, 14 November 2015

Caturday Art: What a to-do!

Note: We weren't going to do a fun post today after the horrible and shocking events in Paris last night.  But we will carry on, as we don't want those evil people to stop the way we live our normal lives. We do send our deepest condolences and our thoughts and prayers to all those who have been caught up in the terror.

What a to do!
And that's a fact.
No one knows
Where my eye is at!

The right eye's there,
My tongue is too.
Whiskers are bristling
Eyebrows' askew?

The tips of my ears,
Have been cut off!
Please be kind,
And do not scoff!

It's not my fault
The pho-tog-grapher
Has no skills
And is unpopular!

But I'll persevere
I will prevail
It's not an option
The cat will fail!

So here I am,
The one-eyed mog!
Who now looks a bit
Like an old sea dog!

We are joining the Caturday Art blog hop with Athena and Marie

Tuesday, 10 November 2015

Gotcha Week Reflections (5) - The Austin Imperative!

This is the last of our week's reflections from the early years of Austin's residence here. Thank you very much for joining us. We've had a lot of fun :) 

The post is called "The Austin Imperative" and was first published 9th January 2011. By this time we were starting to get noticed by the wider cat blogging community - of which I had no knowledge until the wonderful Caren Gittelman from Cat Chat with Caren and Cody pointed it out to me! As a result, Austin started to get some very grandiose ideas!

Perfecting "The Chicken Stare!"
Austin's third anniversary has come and gone.  I don't actually think he even noticed.  His age must be somewhere between 3½ and 4 now.  To say he's settled and feels at home is a bit of an understatement.  He totally rules the roost, except in one area - bedtime sleeping arrangements. The negotiations are still ongoing as to where he lays his not-so-weary head.  Trouble is, as with most cats his awake times are very early morning and very late at night.  This is when, of course, we are well and truly ready for ZZZZ and are shouting for him to "Austin, come, now" at the top of our voices and peering myopically out into the North Wales night, which is "starless and bible black" as all stereotypical Welsh nights are!    
If he's not out pillaging the countryside then he's stuck like velcro to my lap and I have to heave myself to my feet and shuffle along with Austin clinging on like a koala on a eucalyptus tree.  Totally bizarre scene!  Whatever way it's done, getting him to bed is a painful experience. 
It has been interesting to see, how, over these three years, Austin has learnt to "work the system" so that he achieves the maximum amount of comfort for the minimum amount of effort - I'm sure there is a universal law about it? Oh I know! I think it's "the law of perPETual transmutation of energy".  This is the law that says all pets have the power within them to change the conditions in their lives by harnessing the principle of energy sapping!!  Cats are the masters of this and in addition Austin has been spending a lot of time lately studying "CATegorical Imperative" the seminal work of that famous German ailurophile Immanuel KAnT. 
Here are just some of the many imperatives he's adopted - you will see how he employs the law of "diametric contradiction" in many cases:  
  • Every exit door has to be checked with human panting along behind when it's raining.  
  • No internal door must be closed to a cat or severe trauma to the carpet will ensue.   
  • A cat should not go up the stairs unaccompanied at any time and the accompanying human must be raced up the stairs and thwacked on shoulder through the bannisters.  
  • All food must be picked at disdainfully when human is watching.  
  • A cat must never let on that he knows how to use a cat flap, as it could mean that all the time saved by not running from door to window to window to door would weigh heavy on the human's hands and she could become bored and grumpy. 
  • The cat must always jump onto lap of human to have a long nap at the very moment she decides to get in the car and go shopping.  
  • And finally ......  when the human decides to sit down and write interesting blog post, cat must jump up onto keyboardd aanndf kfkbjdhfihfgoh ujrkjld khf kfgj;phpuoteio.


maximum (Brit. Informal) - large mother


Monday, 9 November 2015

Gotcha Week Reflections (4) Applied Mathematics!

We are having a lot of fun (well I am:-) going back over the early days of Austin's takeover of presence in this house. Today's is a bit wordy, but most of the earlier blog posts were! It is from 20th February 2010 and is called Applied Mathematics. I believed that I had discovered the formula for successful cat pill administration! What do you think....?


Now I realise I'm a bit OCD about giving Austin his flea gunk and worm pill, but one needs to prepare for this kind of confrontation.  I've gone on about the process at great length before, so won't go down that route again - well not too far!  However, the planets were once again in alignment and I had to do both at the same time(ish).  I've not had too much problem with the pill bit before, funnily enough; it's always been the flea potion that's caused such pain and discomfort (mostly mine)!  So this time we thought we'd do the pill first to ease us in gently.  Big mistake!   
This time it took several pairs of plastic gloves, one bottle of TCP, several plasters and twenty-four hours before the offending tablet was finally despatched down the correct orifice.  By then it had been pre-sucked, acquiring a thick coating of cat saliva plus black fur and beige shag pile.  I suppose it's all my fault as I'd lent him a book all about a cat, called Lucky, who belonged to a hypothetical physisist called Schrödinger.  Austin obviously now believes I wish him ill and has started a course in quantum mechanics and a torture diary. Talk about overreacting!.   
No amount of me calling "here kitty kitty," in a soft seductive voice will bring him out from behind the large-chair-in-the-corner-by-the-radiator.  Normally he'd be winding himself around my legs tripping me up and impeding my progress to the fridge, cupboard, sink or wherever - see Reflection post (3)!  And he growls!!! Oh yes he does; from the safety of his hidey-hole he becomes the King of the Jungle.  It's quite a terrifying sound coming from such a small creature.  So while he's morphing into Mufasa, all I can do is weakly squeak the refrain from Hakuna Matata and wait patiently until starvation, bladder urgency or a "wave function collapse" draws him out.    
While I'm waiting, I whip out my compass, protractor and slide rule to determine the correct angle for administering the pill.  I've realised, after all the failed attempts it is vital that the angle of trajectory is correct, so the point of firing and the point of swallowing have to be plotted to within 0.001/100th of a degree.  I consult my copy of Euclid's Elements (courtesy of Ruislip Library, date due for return Dec 1975) to obtain the most exact measurements possible.  
I believe I am now prepared, so I leave the vicinity of the cat.  Austin eventually emerges. I stop breathing.  He becomes "low-slung" and skulks round the side of the room. He sticks his head out the door.  Ha! Got him! Executing a perfect a pincer movement, I pounce from behind, while elderly mother smiles at him menacingly as she bears down from the front. Working as one, we scoop him up, wrench open his jaw, angle the pill (47.1768 °) and "fire".  The optimal circumference of the gape also has to be gauged and is crucial to a successful outcome.  Being the altruistic and thoughtful person I am I've calculated the following equation for those who would like replicate my thesis and apply in their own situation.     
(∑pf) + (φps) x 47.1768 ÷ ∃!v + ∫at x πr²
So now you know!  When it came to the formula for flea gunk application to the back of the neck, the equation was much more simple.  
 Broken ampule + parted fur = job done 
Schrödinger could have made it a lot easier on himself, hypothetically!


hypothetical - supposed but not necessarily real or true e.g. Austin supposes that when I put on full body armour and up my life insurance monthly premium that he's going to get it in the neck..... Oh wait ........ !