Thursday, 21 January 2010

Ritual and astrological flim-flam !

There is no doubt that Austin is a fine cat, especially with his winter coat. His fur is fluffy, his undercarriage is rotund and soft and he continues to love being brushed. We have got into a rather samey routine. At a specific time every night, just as I am coming to grips with the world situation courtesy of the BBC, he slinks into the room and disappears behind the curtain to survey his entire catdom for a moment or two out the window. When all is to his satisfaction, I hear a thud followed by a "chirrup" as he emerges through the curtain - sometimes he misses the gap and you can see the bumps as he "noses" along like some act at the Royal Variety that's missed it's cue!

Eventually his head appears and he strides purposefully across the floor, head low, his eyes giving the "look" that welds me to the chair as I (too late) try to avoid the subsequent assault on my person.  With another warning chirrup he hurls himself into my lap and starts his unique massage technique which nearly always results in some blood letting. When that is done to his satisfaction he snuggles himself down in his own personal overstuffed armchair (me!), his head thrust in the palm of one hand and his posterior wedged in the other.  He's quickly asleep making contented little cat sighs, moans and grunts until his dreams take over and the twitching, jerking and eye rolling begins.  By then he's forgotten where he is, so when his dream reaches the point of dénouement he rolls over on his back and - because I've become bored (or too horrified) with the world situation and my own head's nodding surreptitiously - the buttocks hand becomes somewhat relaxed. This causes his rear end to sag dangerously over the side of my leg and he topples to the floor and in doing so he adds several more puncture wounds to my already well-perforated thigh!  We both act surprised and there's a fair amount of clearing of throats and looking the other way in embarrassment!  I then have to console him with a brush and a tickle under the chin!

Throughout winter he's been very loathe to go outside, even in the day, but especially at night. This, I'm sure, was caused by a mixture of fireworks and high winds.  So now we have to go through the ritual of checking every window and door for potential danger.  There is no way I can bundle him outside without going through this tortuous process first.

(By the way have you ever noticed that it doesn't matter how disinclined a cat is to go outside, even when you unceremoniously dump them out the window, they still manage to end up look utterly bored, aloof and condescending with that "this-is-exactly-where-I-intended-to-be" air about them as they mince off into the undergrowth for a pee?)

Anyway these days it's got to the point that Austin practically has to consult his astrological chart before he ventures out.  So there is much discussion about aspect patterns and the ascendancy of Jupiter in the third house when Mars is rising on the cusp.  It's very exacting. I now know more about the Metonic Cycle than I ever wanted - or needed! Much as I want to just give him a kick up his Imum Coeli, I have to wait until his nodal chart is synthetic or some such thing!  Life is getting sooooo complicated ;>)


  1. What a character your Austin is! I loved your post and as I was reading through the word, "chirrup" jumped out at me. I know that sound very well!

  2. Larfed owt lowwed as usual.

    A nice Sunday morning read.

    Si (Bruvver) x


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